Chrissy Wong - Blog

My personal journey to new beginnings

chrissy.wong@century21.ca — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 00:00:00 GMT

Anybody who has gone through an acrimonious divorce can attest that it felt like a death experience. When you’re at the bottom of the pit it doesn’t feel like a new beginning but it is a rebirth. Allow me to share a little of my own experience.

Reaching a settlement with my ex-spouse on asset division and child custody arrangements seemed easy (it wasn’t) compared to being a super mom - provisioning, cooking, budgeting, performing minor home repairs and maintenance, being mom+dad for the children when they were in my care, earning sufficient income to meet all the required expenses such as mortgage, taxes, car expenses, kids’ extra-curricular activities, birthday presents, etc. Managing the whole household alone is no small task in this expensive city.

Depression is also common among divorcées. I could not afford ongoing counseling sessions to help me heal so I had to turn inward and self-heal, which included reading many self-help and spiritual books. I also took basic meditation lessons and began practicing religiously every day, twice a day.

Meditation has great healing powers, a catalyst for positive change. Tandem skydiving, white water-rafting and camping also have been transforming experiences and wonderful ways to acquire self-knowledge and rebuild oneself.

It has been four years since I incorporated meditation into my daily routine and I no longer suffer from depression. Most days I feel light and focused, and am generally a happy, joyful and contented person. I am a strong proponent of positive thinking and strive to identify the silver lining in every situation, no matter how grim.

My divorce (death) and my self-healing process (rebirth) made me stronger and often fearless, as well as wiser, more patient and more compassionate. While devastating and painful to experience, with hindsight, my divorce was a key to new beginnings.

I am honoured to share my personal growth experience in the hopes of assisting friends and associates who are going through difficult times.

Don't Toss Your Home Along With Your Relationship

chrissy.wong@century21.ca — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

Hey Vancouver, a shout-out from your divorce real estate specialist!

Yes, finally, a discreet and unbiased real estate service that truly serves separating or divorcing clientele.

Love is fabulous. But it doesn’t always endure. If you and your partner are separating, I can help you ascertain the best course of action with respect to jointly owned real estate assets.

Often, when couples separate, the matrimonial home becomes the focal point of discontent and the asset is often not given a careful valuation, nor consideration as to whether it should even be sold.

Situations of separation and divorce require advisors who possess specialized skills and knowledge. Realtors who are not divorce specialists will have a limited understanding of the separation and divorce process, as well as the emotional toll. Even if they have experienced their own relationship breakdown, their knowledge and experience would be limited unless they work mainly with separating couples. Moreover, most realtors have a limited personal interest in supporting couples going through a life-changing event.

Individuals going through a marital breakdown are grappling with many emotional and psychological issues that make it difficult to focus objectively on practical decisions such as asset division. Family and friends are likely to be distressed, biased and uninformed. Psychotherapists and religious advisors will have limited scope in real estate matters. You may not be ready to consult a divorce lawyer if you are hoping for reconciliation. But you do need advice. Even just one conversation. I can help you sort out your emotions and priorities so you can focus on obtaining the highest and best value or usage for your real estate holdings.

My role complements your legal advisor’s role, if you retain one, and I can coordinate with him or her, should you wish. However, I report to you and my specialty scope pertains mainly to your real estate interests.

Do I pick sides? No. I am an impartial real estate consultant and can collaborate with both of you. The more you are open to advice and mediation, the greater the chance of achieving the highest and best outcome for your joint assets…and not looking back with regret.

When should a divorce real estate specialist get involved?

chrissy.wong@century21.ca — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 00:00:00 GMT

A divorce real estate specialist should be retained:

(a) when a marriage begins to break down and there is a matrimonial home involved; or

(b) during the negotiation of the separation agreement where the family assets are being divided and the matrimonial home is included; and/or

(c) when a settlement has been made and one or both parties need to purchase his/her own dwelling because the matrimonial home has been sold.

When selecting your divorce real estate specialist, you might want him/her to possess some of these traits:

good working knowledge of family law and real estate law
sensitive to clients’ mental and emotional states during the divorce process
capable negotiator
compassionate
patient

As a footnote, any realtor who specializes in this area understands and accepts the potential lengthy process leading up to the real estate transaction and is willing to weather the ups and downs with his/her client(s). In addition to filling a social need, the patience and constancy of a divorce real estate specialist adds value to the reputation of the real estate industry.

Is there a role for a divorce real estate specialist in Vancouver?

chrissy.wong@century21.ca — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 00:00:00 GMT

To paraphrase Steve Jobs, "Often customers don't really know what they want." In the real estate market, the same could be said about clients, and in particular those undergoing life transitions.

As a divorce real estate specialist, I am focused on consulting with couples or individuals who are in the process of going through a divorce or who were recently divorced. Too often couples dispose of their real estate holdings at a loss, largely due to a lack of unbiased counsel and a tendency to make decisions while experiencing intense emotions. My goal as a divorce real estate specialist is to help clients avoid experiencing this fate.

My approach is similar to that of an advisor, unbiased and fair to both parties, as this helps build trust in order to achieve a succesful outcome. I encourage clients to set aside their strong emotions about their marital breakdown and to focus objectively on their real estate holdings (that is, the matrimonial home) - akin to a business transaction. This way, the needs of both parties can be worked through in a civil manner and conclusions can be drawn successfully, that is, whether to sell or have a different arrangement vis-a-vis their matrimonial home. Granted, it might be necessary to dispose of the matrimonial home due to financial constraints, but my signature process can help both parties agree, without acrimony, on the highest and best value for their home. Finally, if desired, I can assist these clients in locating appropriate homes for the next chapter of their lives.