I Couldn't Sell That House

It seems that of all the properties that I have listed over the years, the houses I couldn't sell are the ones I remember the most.

Early on I tried to sell the "cat" house. For 20 years the owners had 5 cats that really owned the house. Neither the cats nor the owners had ever heard of a litter box. The home smelled so badly that my dad's eyes burned after he conducted an agent's open house for me. Even industrial strength cleaner by the gallon had no lasting effect. I think it was here that I learned to breathe through my mouth.

Or, perhaps, it was at the home that sheltered 3 rottweilers that I learned this trick. I don't know if it was because of the marriage split or the fact that the owner was a slob, but I always wondered why he couldn't clean up more than 10 fresh mounds of feces in the basement everyday.

An odour of a different origin always greeted agents showing the damp, dark, scary home next to the river. Not only did a garter snake slither by me on the basement floor one day, but I learned what the dark, splotchy stuff covering the damp walls was. This "House that Jack Built", fortunately, provided me with many laughable tales that I amused other agents with. And, I did complete 8 other transactions that came directly from this listing.

Close behind these precious gems was the "Link" home. Not only did the owner swear that her home was detached, but she and her boyfriend did their own house tours with every agent that was showing the home. I wanted to put on the "Remarks" section on the listing..."Tours conducted by Dumb and Dumber", but, of course, I couldn't.

These homes are always in my mind, but usually, only for laughter's sake. Not even a good home stager would have helped them. But despite these learning experiences, the real treat for me over the years has been all of the home owners that actually listened to me. They were the ones that ended up with successful sales.  

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