When anger arises, remember to pause

When we fell like a key of dynamite just about to go off, patience means just slowing down at that point – just pausing – instead of immediately acting on our usual, habitual response.  We refrain from acting, stop talking to ourselves and connect with the soft spot.  But at the same time we are completely and totally honest with ourselves about what we are feeling.  We are not suppressing anything; patience has nothing to do with suppression.  In fact, it has everything to do with a gentle, honest relationship with ourselves.  If we wait and don’t fuel the rage with our thoughts, we can be very honest about the fact that we long for revenge, nevertheless we keep interrupting the torturous story and stay with the underlying vulnerability.  That frustration, that uneasiness and vulnerability is nothing solid.  And yet it is painful to experience.  Still, just wait and be patient with our anguish and with the discomfort of it.  This means relaxing with that restless, hot energy – knowing that it is the only way to find peace to ourselves.

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Peter Lai

Peter Lai

CENTURY 21 King's Quay Real Estate Inc., Brokerage*
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