It has officially been winter for longer than nature ordained. The world is meant to have Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter, repeat. Not Winter, Slightly Less Winter, Summer, Almost Winter, Winter. But, alas, we are doomed to remain in an infernal cycle of snow and horror.
We can’t say we didn’t see this coming: year after year our winters get worse. If summer lasts through August, people begin to get optimistic. “Maybe this year I won’t have to pull out our snowsuits for the first day of school!” they say. “Maybe the warm weather will last!” they say. “Perhaps the white witches spell shall wear off!” they say. But we all know they are wrong. As Mr. Tumnus said, in Calgary it is “always winter and never Christmas.”
So bring on the snowstorms in late March.
Welcome to Alberta.
We may have seen this coming, but just because we know something is going to happen doesn’t mean we won’t be sad when inevitability hits. Let’s be real, folks: the snow lasting this long is kind of disheartening. And that is putting it nicely.
The stormy clouds cast dark shadows through your once lively living room, the chilly ice threatens to seep through your windowsill, and no matter how many candles you light, nothing can brighten the gloom that has hung over your property since winter set in. What can you do it relieve some of this pain? We have some suggestions.
The first thing you can do is buy brightly colored, summery plants. We know they are expensive, but there are these nifty new things called “fake plants.” Your crazy aunt had them, and now you get to, too. Trust us! Put them in nice places around your home—on the kitchen table, in the bathroom, by your door, you get the point. You may not be able to actually forget the fact that the plants are fake (if you do forget, have fun watering your fake plants), but they are guaranteed to make you feel better! Plant people are healthy people. Plant people are happy people. Let the colors and the green remind you of your favorite summer memories!
The second thing you can do to remove the gloom is to TURN ON THE LIGHTS! ALL OF THEM! NOW! THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO SAVE ENERGY! Listen to me: a dark and gloomy house is not going to make you feel any better about this extended winter. SO TURN ON THE LIGHTS! LIGHT UP YOUR LIFE!
Third: go build a snowman. Go climb a glacier. Go frolic in the fields of snow. ENJOY THE WINTER! Revolutionary, I know.
So many places around the world never get to experience winter, let alone snow. We are so lucky in Alberta, so enjoy it! Embrace the last bit of winter. Stay warm, have fun, and remember: spring is coming (hopefully) soon!