It's going into negotiation - Oh no! Let me out of here!

negotiateMany times people hear that something is "going into negotiation" and they get shivers up their back and want to run. The image behind the word often creates stress. Some who read that, nod their heads in understanding. Others raise an eyebrow and wonder why.

Simply put negotiation is often equated with confrontation, which is further extended to arguments and conflict. 


But, negotiation IS NOT synonymous with conflict.


Negotiation is just the art of bringing two sides together to a mutually agreeable point. 

You can look at negotiation in three ways: 

1 - Win - Lose : One side gets what they want while the other does not. Unfortunately, this is the vision most people have when thinking about negotiation. 

2 - Lose - Lose : Both sides get so far apart, or simply dig their heels in, and neither side wins. This happens so often when we get emotionally attached to our own perspective.

3 - Win - Win : Both sides are able to walk away with a feeling of success. In our world of competitiveness and 24-hour sports, this is often hard to accept as a real possibility.

There are those who live in option 1. "For me to win, you must lose." How do you recognize this as soon as possible? From sellers, it often comes with verbiage like "Wow this is a low offer", even when the offer is within market range. From buyers it can show up as "This is my clients' best and only offer", with no apparent option for negotiation. 

Others live in the second world. They get so stuck in the emotions and they willingly sabotage the negotiations so everyone loses. I believe that many who constantly "lose" at the table, fall into this category. Sometimes, this can be heartbreaking as so often they get close in terms of relative give/take and suddenly dig their heels in on a simple matter. Buyers will sometimes stop short of increasing their bid, even though they have indicated they would go higher. Then something in the process stops them short. Sellers do the same.

In dealing with some of people's most valuable financial asset and investment, real estate, how can we get to that final win-win option?  

Successful negotiation starts with the end result you have in mind. As a buyer, you want to buy the home at a price within your budget. Your REALTOR® is there to help ensure you keep within the market value. As a seller, you want to sell in a reasonable time and also within a market range. If that happens, you both win. This is regardless of tactics; whether the other side is a Win/Lose or a Lose/Lose negotiator.

Remember that there are real people on the other side and don't let yours or the other side’s attitude stop you from getting to your goal!

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